Dad guilt over missed moments weighs on Robert De Niro
Robert De Niro gets real about fatherhood, copping to guilt and the kid moments he missed—and he doesn’t sugarcoat it.
In a new sit-down with PEOPLE, Robert De Niro didn’t try to sugarcoat the push-pull of work and family. The two-time Oscar winner, now a father of seven ranging from a toddler to middle-aged adults, said the job that made him a household name also meant missing moments he still thinks about.
“I don’t know if there is a secret. It ’s just managing it all. And there’s no way around not feeling a little guilty about not being there at times you should, or you think you should,” he told PEOPLE.
De Niro has spent decades on film sets and on the road, and he was frank that no level of Hollywood experience hands you a parenting playbook. The goal, he said, is to keep showing up, even when the calendar gets messy.
Seven kids, one career
His family spans multiple chapters of his life and relationships:
- Drena De Niro — his eldest, whom he adopted during his marriage to Diahnne Abbott (d. 2023)
- Raphael De Niro — son with Abbott
- Julian Henry De Niro and Aaron Kendrick De Niro — twin sons with Toukie Smith
- Elliot De Niro and Helen Grace De Niro — son and daughter with Grace Hightower
- Gia Virginia Chen-De Niro — daughter with girlfriend Tiffany Chen, born in 2023
Two of his children, Drena and Julian, have worked as actors, while others have built careers outside the industry. The breadth of those paths, and the age spread across the family, is part of what De Niro was getting at: there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, even for a movie legend.
De Niro and Chen welcomed Gia in 2023, adding a new chapter to a family story that now stretches across five decades.