Becca Tilley Shares the Real Reason She Joined The Bachelor at 25 as a Virgin
Becca Tilley opens up at 37 about choosing to remain a virgin into her late 20s—and why she fought to keep it from becoming her storyline on The Bachelor—during a Monday, April 13 podcast episode.
Becca Tilley went on The Bachelor planning to keep one very personal thing off-camera. Shockingly (not shockingly), that plan did not survive reality TV. On Monday, April 13, the 37-year-old broke down how her virginity became a plot point in 2015, how Chris Soules handled it, and where she ultimately landed with love and labels.
Why she waited, and why she didn’t want it on TV
Tilley says she stayed a virgin into her late 20s because of her faith. She grew up Christian conservative in a non-denominational setting, with the general message of: don’t chase guys, let them come to you. Her family wasn’t extreme about it, but her virginity felt private and protected — exactly why she didn’t want it to become her Bachelor storyline when she arrived on Chris Soules’ season at 25.
'This is something that I’ve chosen for myself. I don’t need it to be this thing that people have an opinion on.'
The moment the storyline found her
Reality TV being reality TV, the secret slipped out in a very on-brand way. Another contestant, Ashley Iaconetti (now 38), came back from a chat with Soules visibly upset — this was during Ashley’s own virginity arc. While comforting her, Tilley forgot about the microphone and the seven cameras pointed at her and blurted, 'I’m a virgin too.' A producer immediately pulled her for a confessional. Suddenly, that was her narrative.
Looking back, she’s not mad about the outcome. She thinks seeing a confident woman own that choice helped people at home who had made the same decision and needed permission to feel OK about it.
How Soules handled it, and why she went home
Tilley finished as the runner-up on Soules’ 2015 season. She says Soules, now 44, took the news well — respectful, no pressure, no weirdness. In the finale, she told him she wasn’t in love, and that was that. He proposed to Whitney Bischoff, and they split a few months later.
From strict rules to real life: Hayley Kiyoko and identity
Post-Bachelor, Tilley found her person in singer Hayley Kiyoko (35). They dated privately for years; Tilley publicly came out as queer in 2022, and they got engaged in 2025.
She says her religious background made her determined to follow the rules she was taught, so even if she felt something for a girl back then, she shut it down. She didn’t feel like she was in the closet — she liked guys and assumed that was simply the path. Then she met Kiyoko, and for the first time she thought, I want to kiss her. These days, Tilley says she’d describe herself as bisexual.